The Three C's Of Marriage

Pastor Corey delivers his weekly message titled "The Three C's Of Marriage"

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I've titled the message, The Three Seas of Marriage. Now, there can be many more you can come up with, but these are the three that God's laid on my heart for us today. So take your Bibles, go with me to Hebrews chapter 13, verse 4, and guess what? Let's stand. Let's stand one more time, all right? Hebrews chapter 13, verse 4. Now we have some other scripture we're going to read later in the message, but but this is the launching point, and this is the key verse of our message today. Hebrews 13, verse 4. Marriage should be honored by all. Now when it says marriage should be honored by all, not just honored by the government, not just honored by the state or by or by people who honor people who are married, but it must be honored by those who are married. We have to honor the institution and how God created it. So marriage should be honored by all. And the marriage bed kept pure. It says in some versions, the marriage bed is undefiled. There's a Greek word that's used there for the intimate experience between a husband and wife, and in God's eyes, it's pure. See, we live in a world today that has taken all the beautiful things of God and has inverted it into evil. For instance, Satan was Lucifer, the uh angel, chief musician in heaven before he fell, right? And you think about it today. Think about music today. I'll be honest with you, God. I'm telling you, I know not all of you are gonna agree with me, but that's all right. You have a right to be wrong. So but we were traveling to Georgia, and I was sh uh scrolling through whatever you want to call it, trying to find some music to listen to, and and um and I do like a little bit of country and western, but not a lot of it. And the modern stuff today is just it's pathetic. I mean, some of the old stuff is pathetic too, but it's all about drinking and I mean, and it's like many, many, many Christians buy into this and they listen to this garbage day in and day out, day in and day out, day in and day out about fooling around and all of this stuff. And I was just like, it's garbage. And so what Satan has done is he's taken music that should be created that was created to honor God and honor his institutions that he's created, and actually he perverts it. Well, in the same way, Satan takes what God gave as a gift to a husband and wife in sexual experience, and and he's taken it and perverted it in so many ways. So the Bible says marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Let's pray. Father, thank you for your word. Help us to see what true biblical marriage is, and how we can just take three simple things. And for those who are married can work on these things in their lives and in their marriage. For those who are not, perhaps they can learn and maybe if you give them a life partner going forward that they can apply these things to their life. And I prayed in Jesus' name. Amen. And you may be seated. Let me tell you why it's important for us from the pulpit in America, throughout America, to uplift the institution of marriage. Because marriage is one of the foundational institutions of society. So goes the marriage, so goes the home, so goes the nation, so goes the church. And if marriages aren't strong, homes aren't strong, children grow up confused, children grow up frustrated and angry. The Bible says, fathers, don't exasperate your children and cause them to be angry. Don't frustrate them. And the Bible is talking about not doing that in Ephesians chapter 6 because they get frustrated when they hear you say one thing, but they see you live a totally different way. They hear you talk about, as a dad, about honoring your wife and loving your wife and going to church and all of that stuff. And then when you get home, you treat her like dirt. And your children see that and it's frustrating to them. Or you tell your children, don't do as I do, but do as I say. As a matter of fact, you know, we know that behavior is more caught than taught. When people see it in your life, it has more impact than you just saying something. And so marriage is very, very important to our society. It's in all demographics. Um, but back in the civil rights era, when civil rights were a big deal as far as African American, American, you know, Americans were trying to get proper civil rights treatment, you know, use the same bathrooms as other people. Sit down in a restaurant to eat and not be treated as less than. Those were some good things and good causes. And back in the 60s, the African American home had a 92%, 92% of those homes had a mother and a father in those homes. Caucasian families was less than that, it was like 90%. And now I think it's changed. In the African-American family, it's I think it's about 38%. And that might be high. And, you know, and and in if you want to if you want to call it Caucasian and all that. I I don't like to look at the world that way. I like to look at the world, hey, are we Christian or non-Christian? Are you saved or are you lost? That's all that matters to me. Because you know what we're what's happening today, right? You you know that, right? I mean, I don't like to call, well, that's a mixed child. No, that's a child. God sees them as a child. That's a mixed couple. No, God sees them as a couple. Man sees color, God sees the heart. So when you say, when you break them up into groups and you say that, you know, yeah, you can learn a little bit about that, but the bottom line is this. I've been a pastor long enough to see it doesn't matter what your ethnicity is. Marriage is a foundational ethnical institution that will affect your life positively or negatively. And it's important that we deal with it. It's important that the church once again climbs to the top of the mountain to proclaim this and quit letting the perverts tell us how we ought to live. And start letting the Bible and Jesus tell us what's the way to live. The truth. So I want you to see the three C's of marriage. Number one, Christ centered. Christ centered. Any relationship you have, and particularly in marriage, it has to be Christ-centered. Well, preacher, I know people that aren't Christians that have been married for 50 years. There are outliers, and you know, but you don't know the depth and the scope of what that marriage is like day in and day out. But I want to tell you this that as a Christian, if you want to have a marriage that honors God and you want it to last a lifetime, it's got to be Christ-centered first. And you say, What do you mean by that? And I'll tell you what I mean by that. When you marry somebody, you're not marrying somebody that's gonna fix who you are. They can't do it. But you see, there's a there's a subtlety going on there. Usually, I've always asked people in premarital counseling, why out of the millions and millions of people on the face of the earth, why are you settling for him? And why of the millions and millions of women on the earth, why are you settling for her? Because I'm gonna tell you this, somewhere along the line, you're not gonna think that the person you marry to is the greatest thing since sliced bread. And a matter of fact, your eyes are gonna wonder and you're gonna say, Oh, that person uh physically looks a lot better than the person I marry. You know why? Because it's gonna happen. And so I asked them that question. And they always look puzzled at me sometimes. I asked Billy that question the other day. He went, uh. Okay, that's all I'm gonna say about that. Nah. The reason I ask it is this. Usually, even if you can't articulate it, usually the answer is this. Because that person is the first person in my life that's not blood to me, that loves me unconditional, that makes me feel comfortable. I can be who I am, I can be myself around that person. I don't have to be someone else. And it's because every human being has a deep need for security and significance. And we when we meet someone that man, all of a sudden, emotionally, we feel secure with. Man, that person above all others, for some reason or another, has done something to help me and create some security for me emotionally. And they think I'm pretty special. I'm significant, I'm important to them. I mean, really, to be honest with you, you know, prior to meeting Penny, the only people I ever thought cared about me really and truly were my blood family. And then I met Penny and I was like, ooh, this is what, this is how you know. But here's the problem with that. While that is something that happens and it's it's cool and it's okay, if you go into marriage depending upon your spouse to meet that deep need that you have for security and significance and put it all on them, they're gonna fail you. They're gonna fail you. And what happens is it becomes spouse-centered rather than Christ-centered. So now what happens is as you grow as a Christian, you realize that, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. The only person that can fix me is Jesus. The only one that can meet my deepest crazy need for security significance ultimately is Jesus Christ. And so what happens is this. So as you as you live in marriage and you your spouse fails you constantly, and I'm not talking about in some some horrible, sinful way, but I'm just talking about they fail you. They're different from you. And maybe they don't meet your every need all the time. You know what happens to marriages that are Christ-centered? They, you know what they say? They go, it's okay, because you know what? You don't have to meet my every need. Jesus does that. And you and me were okay. Yeah. One of the biggest mistakes I made early in marriage was um when Penny was folding my underwear, and she was folding my underwear, and mama folded them a certain way. See, you know, you know where I'm going with it. I already said the key word. That's mama did it. So mama folded them a certain way. Penny, I had never seen this before. Penny folds them. She man, I wish I had. Well, never mind. I was gonna wish I had one to show you. She takes them and she folds them like that, like that, and she takes and it turns into a football. I never saw anything like that. Well, hold on now, hold on. Yeah. Me and the kids, as the kids are growing up, man, that's how we'd pick them up. Hey! We start throwing. So, but then I so what I told her wasn't her first time.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

I said, what is what are you what are you doing that?

SPEAKER_01 13:58

I'm folding your underwear. I said, Mama don't fold them that way. She said, Well, you didn't marry your mama. I learned quick. And now I love them because when I pack to go somewhere, I'm just over my shoulder, I'm just throwing underwear. Yeah. You learn. And what happens is your spouse is going to fail you. I can imagine that if our marriage wasn't Christ-centered, Penny would have said, Oh my gosh, who didn't marry? You know, he doesn't love me. He talked about, you know, his mom. Mama did it this way, mama did it that way, and mama did it this way. So we've got to be Christ-centered. Look at what 1 Corinthians 3.11 says. Christ-centered. For no one can lay any foundation other than that one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. And then Matthew 7, 24 through 27. I mentioned this last week, but I want to apply it in this way this week. Therefore, anyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice, I'm going to tell you, here's the problem, y'all. Here's the problem with a lot of us. We hear the words of Jesus and we don't do them. And then we come to the preacher and want the preacher to fix it, and he tells you what the word of God says, and you leave and you don't do it. Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash. This is what I find in pastoral ministry of 36 years. Too many people are trying to build their marriage and their life on a faulty foundation. You don't build it on money. You don't build it on attraction. Because attraction will fade. You don't build it on influence. You don't build it on things you have in common. Because as you live longer, you find out that there's a lot you don't have in common. Penny's left-handed, I'm right-handed. Penny puts clothes on a hanger with left-handed, I put them right-handed, meaning she's wrong and I'm right. I'm right, right? No, I'm right, right-handed. No, to be honest with you, it's not wrong the way she does it. It's just different. But boy, the first couple of years, it was bad. Because I kept telling her she was wrong. And she was reminding me, no, it ain't wrong. It's different. We uh Penny is in the process right now. We we've had our houseware, dishes, everything. We've had the same stuff for almost 37 years. Our original set that we got, you know, what do they call it today? Where you well, we're uh registered at so-and-so, you know, and we had these special plates made and all of that, and we're down to one or two. And the other day, the other day I put some uh some barbecue on a plate, and I got up after I was eating there watching TV, and the barbecue leaked all over my leg because the plate had a crack in it, and I said, Penny, the plate's got a crack in it.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

And she goes, Well, throw it away. I said, It's one of our good plates that we got when we first got married. She goes, We've thrown most of them away. Throw that one away.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

And she's like, I want to start buying some new stuff. So there's a particular kind that she likes that they primarily sell at TJ Maxx. So on our way to Georgia, she goes, she goes, I know where all the TJ Maxxes are at. We stopped at every TJ Maxx between Gainesville and Atlanta, Georgia, and Columbus, Georgia, and Albany, Georgia, and everyone. And finally, at the last one, I finally went, I said, What is she looking for? I finally went to the housework back there, and I found her. And I'm like, there's a hundred of them. There's all you want. Hunt it, kill it, bag it, and let's go. And she's like, Well, I don't like the saying on that plate.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

I don't care what it says, it's what you want, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:58

And she looked at me and she goes, So when you go to Bass Pro 50 times, and you look at the same fish and rods and the same bait and the same hunting stuff. I said, Well, I just don't want to stop at another TJ Maxx. And she goes, just remember that when you want to go hunting. I said, Oh, we got three or four more on the way home. We'll stop. But Christ-centered, it's okay when your spouse doesn't meet your need. It's okay when they're different than you, because your marriage is founded on the rock of Jesus Christ and on faith. And I'll tell you, though we grow older and we got a lot of things that we were different in, and we're finding all that out about our lives, even 30 plus years into it, and we're also finding a lot that we have in common. The one thing that holds us together is the solid foundation that we have built together because we have placed our faith in Jesus Christ. Christ centered. It's gotta be that, y'all. Number two, three C's of marriage. Covenant commitment. Covenant. Covenant commitment. You want to see something cool? Covenant commitment. Look in Genesis 9, 18 through 17. Look at this. This is about the covenant God made with Noah after the flood. God made with Noah and his family. Check this out. Then God said to Noah and his sons with him, I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you. And with every living creature that was with you, the birds, livestock, and all the wild animals, and all that came out of the ark with you, every living creature on the earth. I establish my covenant with you. Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of the flood. Never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth. And God said this This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come. Check this out. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth. So God said to Noah, This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all of life on earth, on the earth. When you see the rainbow, I'm not talking about the rainbow in the sky, but you see rainbow, what do you think of? Huh? Huh? Promise, no, no. What what culturally, culturally, when you see a rainbow flag.

unknown 22:05

L B G T Q.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

L yeah, okay, yeah. L G B T Q, whatever. Whatever letters are added now. Let me just say this, and I don't mean this in a derogatory way, but it just goes to show you the inconsistency of logic. LGBTQ, the B is supposed to stand for bisexual. If gender is gender is is fluid and it uh it's non-binary, I think that's how they say it. I it it kind of confuses me all these words they come up with. In other words, you can choose whatever gender you want, then how can you be bisexual? Think about that for a moment. How can you be that? Anyway, that's just extra. But here's the point I'm making: the rainbow. When you see the colors of the rainbow, it should remind every human being of the awesome power and the covenant that God made with mankind. That He would be gracious to us. It may rain for a long time, but it's gonna stop at some point. And you're gonna see a rainbow somewhere. And that rainbow is a reminder to all of humanity that there's a God in heaven. And he made a covenant with his people, meaning that he gave us his word that he would never want to again destroy the earth and all of humanity with water that way. And the rainbow should remind every human being that when you see it, that the human race was so wicked, so horrendous, so awful, that God had to bring rain to destroy it, to destroy the evil that was on the earth and only saved a few people. And the rainbow reminds us of the covenant God made. See, covenant is different than contract. When you get married, you're making a covenant. You're committing yourself to that person, whether or not they commit themselves to you. Now I always say this: it takes two to make it, one to break it. If one wants out, you can warn it all day long, and they can legally get a divorce from you. But covenant. A covenant is a commitment you make. And you're like God, and when I say like God, you're following God's character when you make a covenant. A covenant is about commitment. Listen to this. Give me a one-word definition of love. Ready? Raise your hand. I'll call you. I'll call on you. Raise your hand. One word definition. Jesus, that's a good one. Can't argue with that. Another one. God. Another one. Huh? Forever. I define biblical agape love like this. One word. Commitment. See, love's not a feeling. I got in trouble years ago. Because I had someone in my office one time and I said, How do you know y'all are in love? And she goes, Oh, when I'm in his presence, he makes me feel warm and tingly all over. That's what she said to me. And I said, you may have gone to the bathroom on yourself. It may not be love. No. And I got in serious trouble. So I just did it again. But love isn't a feeling. It's not something you fall into and fall out of. Love is a commitment. Jesus is the personification of love, as we read about here earlier in the service, as Brother Eric read, 1 Corinthians 13. And the greatest of these is love. When you want to see love, you know, Jesus, God, y'all are all correct in saying that. They are the definition of that. And in that is the word commitment.

unknown 26:47

Commitment.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

I guarantee you, if you brought my wife up here, now she's back there and she's not going to want to come up here, but if you brought her up here and said, be honest with us, Penny, did you always feel like you loved him? She would probably say this, I've always loved him because of my commitment, but there are some times I wanted to kill him. They asked Billy Graham's wife one time, have you ever thought about divorce, Miss Ruth? Have you ever thought about divorcing Billy Graham? She goes, never. Murder, several times. So covenant commitment says, I'm with you till the end of your day. And we're going to be together as long as God will have us in that way. I'm making a covenant commitment to you. Now one last thing, and these all tie together, and I'm going to wrap it all up and put them together here. The third word is church. And I put the word concentrated to concentrate on church. You say, huh? Church. Yeah. Do you know that when the Bible speaks of marriage, it speaks of Christ and his church? The parallels are there. Christ and his church is a picture of marriage. Marriage of a man and a woman, one man and one woman, is a picture of Christ and his church. The two overlap. We are the bride of Christ, and he's coming back for us one day. We are in the betrothal period, if you will, waiting for the bridegroom to come. Church. Concentrated. What do you mean by that, preacher? Well, I've given you two long passages. I want to give you one more. Okay? Ephesians chapter 5, beginning in verse 21. Listen to this, y'all. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So when she was wanting to find new dishes and all of that, and one TJ Max wasn't enough. Two wasn't enough. 26 wasn't enough. And she still wanted to go to more. Guess what I did? No, Walker's killing me over there. No. What I did was I said, okay, I'm going. I'm submitting to you in that area. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands. He's a spiritual leader, the Bible says, as you do to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Let me just stop here and say this. Let me tell you this. I have never found in all of my life, over time, a woman married to a man who would not follow that man to worship if he decided that's what he wanted to do with his life. You say, what are you talking about? Men, husbands, listen to me. Too often it's the wife that's busy getting everybody to church. Now, I I confess, when my kids were smaller, Penny was the key active one getting them ready for school. But when the weekend came, it was my job. And when Sunday morning came, it was my job. As a matter of fact, we prepare for Sunday morning on Saturday night. Because Sunday morning church attendance is a Saturday night decision. And I'm telling you, fellas, listen, your wife, if you get serious about God, not just going to church, but being part of a church, your wife will follow eventually because she wants to follow a man who's following God. Now, not all of them will. But most spiritual women will. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. Look at how those two are interchanged, his body of which he is a savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. I'll tell you this too, and I'm putting the onus on the husbands. Men, listen to me. Some of the places you go and you take your wife, Christ would never do that to his church. He would never put us in a tempting position. Christ would never take us to the seat of evil and allow us to go there. What I'm saying to you men is that listen, some of you don't want to go to church, or you may not, and I'm talking about some people listening and watching right now, and whoever this may go out to, but some of you don't think you need to go to church and you don't want to go to church, but you have no problem bringing your bride to a bar room where sin and drunkenness and adultery and all kinds of other evil things take place. But you're sure not going to be the leader to bring her to church. Well, the Bible says that Jesus, we're the husbands who love their wives as Christ loved the church, Christ would never take his church to a place that would compromise her. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. I'm a pastor, and I know somebody might say, Well, you're gonna say that. But long before I was a pastor, I was committed to this principle. We made a decision after I got saved that the church, the body of Christ, would be a major part of our life until the day we died. And as I began to read the Word of God and began to understand it even better, I understand that the church is just as important as the family. Most of us would say, and we'd die for our family, and we would die for our family time, and we'd say, you know, we we have special family times, and that's important to us, but yet we don't feel that way about the church, and we should. We should be concentrating our lives in the church. Men, you should strive, and I say this with, I say this with um with all respect about about what I'm about this term I'm gonna use. You should strive to be a church man. A church man. Women, you should strive to be a church woman. The church should be part of your life. Listen, I'm just gonna I'm laying it out. How many of you remember the apologist? Now, in Christian terms, what that means for some of you who don't know how how we use that word apologist, these are the people that go on university campuses. They they it's high intellectual discussions they have about creation and about you know about God and all of these things. How many of you have ever heard of the apologist, the Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias? How many of you remember going to hear him at the O'Connell Center a couple of years back? Some of you came with us, we went to hear him. Now I'm not here to just to throw dirt on a man, but I think it's important that we talk about what's going on. It has been found he was accused right before he passed away. He died last June. It was found out that he had multiple affairs. One accused him of rape, found out that he had part ownership in two massage spas, and some of the people there were not licensed, so it was kind of shady. Um he engaged in some stuff, so they his ministry after he passed away hired an independent investigative service, and they investigated the entire ministry and all of Ravi's electronic equipment, everything. And they found forensic evidence of multiple affairs. He had a masseuse that would travel with him when he'd go to Asia alone. You know, he'd go just him and her, a young lady. And they found evidence of not just misconduct, but of sexual immorality. This man was going around the world being the premier Christian apologist for Christ. But here's something else that was found out. The people who know him. Ravi Zacharias was never committed to a local church. Now listen to me. There are a lot of these guys out there who seem to speak for the Christian community. And on Sundays they might be all over the place preaching or all over the world preaching, but they're never personally committed to a local congregation. It's not to say he wasn't a member somewhere, but he didn't go. And he wasn't involved. And in our men's Bible study on uh Wednesday night, men's Bible study, we talk about this: that you need your brothers. We all need accountability. The church helps me stay on the narrow path. Well, preacher, you know, but there are hypocrites. Man, there are hypocrites everywhere. Have you ever heard of guys who impersonated doctors? And they got arrested? We don't stop going to the doctor because a few knuckleheads did some stupid things, right? We still go. I haven't gone because I don't want to wear it at mask, but anyway. But we still go if we have a problem. Well, you don't have to go to church to be a Christian. Did you read the same passage that I just read? Jesus died for his church?

SPEAKER_00 38:13

I think the church is pretty important.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Well, it's imperfect.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Hello. It's made up of people.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

You know what tells us how imperfect we are? This is this is what tell this is how you know we are sinful beings. I just I'm a simple man and I think in simple ways. On the physical side, we all have to take a shower every day. You should if you don't. And then we mask our own odor by putting deodorant on. Nobody wants to smell that nastiness. We wash and we have to do it every day. Humans stink. Right? I mean, they stink. I had a couple one time come see me. And the wife was upset because no, the husband was upset. He was upset. They've been married 10 years. And he said, he said this. This is kind of some of the stuff I deal with. He he comes and goes, listen, here's my issue. She won't let me see her using the bathroom. That was his issue.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

I said, why would you want to be there? Huh?

SPEAKER_01 40:00

I don't know what he said, but I'm afraid to ask again. I can't hear too good. So the point that I'm getting at is that just like our bodies need washing, our spirits need refreshing, and the church is just as much of a family as the nuclear family, as a husband and wife. And the church should have a place in our life. Because I need the washing of the word on a regular basis in my heart, just like I need to wash and clean my body. We should concentrate on the things that matter. Penny and I first got married, you know, I was a brand new Christian. She had just gotten saved, but she grew up in church life, so she knew how it worked. And our first year as a married couple, we went to the vacation Bible School director and said, Hey, we'd like to teach a class. If you think we can do it, we want to do it. And they appointed us as fifth grade teachers, 18 years old. Now, never got to teach that class because God called me into the ministry a few months before then, before VBS, and then we ended up moving to go to Bible college. But we knew then we want to commit ourselves as a young couple to church life. So Christ-centered covenant commitment and church should be a big part of your life. And you say, Pastor, what if I'm not married? Okay. Your life should be Christ-centered, a covenant commitment to God, and church concentrated. See how that works? Whether you're married or not. But if you're married, it's the same thing. Christ-centered, covenant committed, to God and to each other. And church concentrated. The church is important. And I don't apologize as a pastor for challenging people not just to come to church, but to be the church. So Valentine's Day today. Maybe your marriage can be transformed if you do something real simple. You know, for me, in my marriage, it happened when we were in Dallas, Texas, in our second year of marriage. I began to fully, or better understand, I should say not fully, but better understand that it wasn't about me. It was about she from my perspective. That my goal was to minister to her and be a godly husband to her. And to serve her and to care for her. Her goal was to serve me and to care for me. Notice what I'm saying. As both of you are doing that, guess what happens to your needs? They get mad. And God uses your spouse to help in that. Let me end with this. I haven't arrived and nobody arrives in marriage. I don't care how old you are. We still have to work at it every day. But let me just say this to you. While we're getting older and our Appearances have changed. You know what I'm talking about. You ever wanted grass to grow in a spot and you couldn't get it to grow there? But where you didn't want it to grow, it would grow? Like in the cracks of your cement. Different places in your flower bed. As we get older, that's what happens with our hair. You know that. It starts growing where we don't want it to grow on our ears. I'm serious the other day, man. I looked and I guess the natural light was shining on the mirror, and I saw a hair man, I tell you what, it was about two inches long coming off my ears. Why didn't anybody tell me about that? I mean, I needed, I needed some loppers to cut that thing off. You start changing, man. I saw somebody I hadn't seen in 20 plus years the other day, and they looked at me and I thought, be careful what you tell me. They said, Oh, you look good. You gained some weight. No kidding. You got a lot more gray than you were here. I was 25 when I was here. I'll be 55 in a few days. Yeah. We change. And as we get older in marriage, here's the thing. We know that both of us have changed. But we are so much in love because we made a commitment to each other. And when we didn't always feel the feelings of love, our commitment got us through it. That kind of love will get you through it. Agape love. We're not leaving. You stuck with me. I'm stuck with you. And let's make it work. And now, as you move on beyond certain things in your life, now it gets fun. You know? Now it's fun. See, now we're not calling our children to find out why they're not home yet or where they are. Our children are calling us. And we can give it back to them. How come you're not home yet, Mom and Dad? Oh, I don't know. We're out having a good time, just us. Well, when are y'all coming home? Oh, we don't know. It's so much fun. Loved our kids, but we embraced the emptiness, and that's the other thing. A lot of people pour their whole life into their kids, do nothing for their marriage, and then when their kids leave, they've got nothing. Okay, let me give you three things to help you here in the end on this thing. Paul said in the Word of God, he goes, and finally, and he wrote three more chapters. So here we go. Three things. D D D. Simple formula we use, and it means a lot to us. Dialogue daily. Communicate. Talk. You're not two ships passing in the night. You're two individuals that made a commitment to one another. Have a discussion. Not just discussion about what we're having for supper, what do we have to do for the kids? Talk to each other. Hey, how was your day? Who'd you meet today? Who'd you see? And discuss the things you used to do when you were dating. So dialogue daily. Date, date weekly. You say, I can't afford that. Who said it's got to be expensive? You can go for a walk. State of Florida's got a lot of public land. You can go and walk and do a lot of things together. It won't cost you anything. Date weekly. Spend some time together once a week. Now, I used to say it like this: depart twice a year. But I'd say if you can get away, and if you are specific about it, just y'all two once a year. And keep that going in your marriage. Just y'all two. We started doing that even when our kids were little. Now we made a mistake early on. The first time we ever left our first child, we were supposed to be gone two nights. We couldn't stand it. We only stayed one night and we came home. But it was a start. And we still practice that to this day. Every now and then Penny's the one who reminded me, you know, we you haven't talked to me today. And I'm thinking, what do you mean? I've called you four times? No, she goes, we haven't talked. Dialogue daily, you know? Oh. And I'm thinking, oh, I don't want to talk. But then when you talk, it's building, it's it's it's like creating a garment, one thread at a time. So the three D's, dialogue daily, date weekly, depart annually. Put those into your life. Just those three things. And it just adds that extra that you need that can help you. But especially the three we talked about today Christ, Covenant, and the church. You gotta have those three in your life to have a strong marriage. Would you stand with me? Heavenly Father, I'm fully aware that this message may not be directly affecting somebody in here and someone, it may have been painful for them to sit here and listen to this. I appreciate their respect for the Word of God and for me. And also, Father, I I respect their attention. And I pray that maybe you spoke to them in a way that could help them. But for those who this applies directly to, I pray that their marriages would be strengthened. They'd be strong going forward. I pray for the person here whose marriage failed. I hope that when they walk out of these doors today, they don't feel like a failure, but they know that the God of heaven provides grace and love. And going forward, whether they get married or not in the future, they know that they can put their faith in you and they can make a covenant to you and a commitment to God's church. And their life could have fulfillment even in the struggle. Father, I pray that you would strengthen the marriages within our church, the families, thereby helping us to not only be a strong church, but to be an influence in our community and to help others who need to get to that point. And then through it all, our nation can be strengthened. Help people to quit looking to the government and all kinds of other things to fix their problem. But Father, they would look to you and within and find that joy and that abundant life that you have. So before we go right into the invitation, one last thing. I'm going to ask you to do something bold here today. I'm going to ask you to, if you're here with your spouse today, to come, take your spouse, come to this altar and pray together. Maybe you haven't prayed together in years. And maybe, husband, you take the initiative and say, look, I want to pray for us as a couple. And praying is just talking to God. The hardest person in the world to pray with is your spouse. Start right here at church. Maybe your spouse isn't here and you want to pray for them. Maybe your spouse left you and they divorced you, or in the process of divorcing you, you can still pray for them. Maybe that ship has sailed and there's, you know, no hope for that. And just pray that God would open your heart and mind. Maybe you're a single person and you wonder why hasn't God chosen me for marriage? No one here on this earth has the answer for that. But maybe you would come to the altar and say, you know, God, if you choose that for me, amen. And if you choose for me never to be married, help me each day to trust you, to grow closer to Christ, to love my covenant with you, and to live through the local church. So I want to challenge you to do it. Sometimes the movement of our bodies physically to an altar has an impact. Let's do what God leads us to do this morning. And we pray it all in Christ's name. Amen.